So let’s go back in time about 6 months to when I gave up on running. And you know, it’s really ironic that I gave up on running at that point, because I was just starting to see progress in my pace.
I don’t know what happened. Maybe it was a full moon. Maybe it was mercury in retrograde. Maybe it was depression or defeat or the dawning of the age of Aquarius. I just kind of stopped.
I lost my joy in running. It became work. It was no longer something I looked forward to. I felt myself slip into anxiety attacks as I set off, often not being about to catch my breath or regulate my breathing for the duration.
Running was not fun.
The one thing that keeps pulling me back is the Zombies, Run! community. And the running community as a whole.
I had the opportunity to meet a friend I met through Zombies, Run! and see him run the Chicago Marathon. Being around runners I felt a little like an impostor, but also I felt drawn to plant my flag and declare myself a member again. I chased him around the course, feeding off the energy of the other spectators there to see their favorite runners accomplish something awesome. Then I realized…
I wanted to belong again.
I wanted to be a part of it.
So I’m back here, setting new plans and new goals for myself, trying to find my motivation. Because my 5amily is the best. Because runners are amazing. Because even if I’m slow, I’m still moving.
So here is the plan – My third Run the Bluegrass in April. Setting a PR goal of 2:45:59, and if I make it, I get a new tattoo. The idea is already there, so if I want it, I have to earn it.
Then the 5amily wants to meet up in 2019 for the Edinburgh Half Marathon. Travel you say? Vacation you say? Friends you say? I’ll be damned if I can’t find a way to make that happen. Which means I need to start paying myself for my kilometers run again to try to save up. I’d like to spend a week over in Europe surrounding the race if I can, so piggy banking everything will be a must.
How’s that for motivation?
And all the while, I am going to try to keep documenting my time here, if I can.
Raise the gates.